Love Language

Understanding Your Child's Love Language

Children expressed and receive love in different ways. Knowing your child’s love language can be helpful in so many ways. Often we assume that we as parents have given enough attention to them yet it is never enough.

So what went wrong ? 

As a parent of 5 boys, I’ve always imagined a little jar inside each of my child. And it’s my job to fill that jar up with “Love”. It’s challenging to keep those little jars filled. Understanding your child’s love language may help you.

What Are The 5 Child’s Love Language

  1. Words Of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts Of Service
  5. Physical Touch

Let's Get Into More Details About Each Of The Love Language.

Words of Affirmation

Expressing your love and sincere words to your child. Don’t get me wrong, saying ” I LOVE YOU” is important. But explaining to them the reason behind why you love them is most important. 

Here are some examples where you can apply this Love Language to your everyday life with your child.

   “Thanks for being such a great kid! , You have been helpful today and I appreciate it.” 

or 

” You are the kind of friend I wanted when I was your age, you are fun to be with” 

and

 ” Would you like to go to the store with me? I like it when you come along. ”   

 To summarize Words Of Affirmation always remember ” Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say ” 

Quality time

By ” Quality Time “, it means giving your undivided attention to your child.

We are always caught up with our devices and getting lost in the web or various social media platforms.  If your child’s love language is “Quality Time” is good to know that you may have to put down all your devices.

 It’s not about sitting on the same sofa together or being in the same room. It’s about engaging with your child without any distraction or interference. Giving your utmost attention. 

Isaac, my 4th boy love’s language is quality time. Often I notice that after spending time with him, playing with his toys, role-playing together; his ” Love Jar” is more filled. Some other examples include playing catch, taking walks in the park or even a one on one time at the playground.

 While time is precious, do not forget to give some time to your child without fail.

Receiving gifts

We are “designed” in a way to be happy if someone gives us a surprise. It can be as simple as a card to gifting something lavish and grand. 

The same applies to our child. Receiving gifts in a way reassures them that we are thinking of them. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It does not matter how much the gift cost, what matters most is that you are thinking about them. They will feel loved and happy.

 While a kid is always happy to be receiving gifts or toys, there are a few who speaks only this love language.

Acts of service

If your child’s Love Language is Act of Service, it means that he feels loved when someone does something for them.

 It could be a fixing that broken toy, learning or teaching a new skill and even be as simple as doing chores together. They need thought, planning, time, effort and energy.

 If done with a positive attitude, they are expressions of love for your child. If your child’s love language is Act of Service then ” your actions should speak louder than your words.”

Physical touch

If your child’s primary love language is Physical touch, you may want to find more ways to engage with your child. 

There are so many studies out there to prove the importance of physical touch to a human body. Babies and kids who receive affectionate cuddles, kisses develop a healthier emotional life.

 Physical Touch is a way of communicating emotional love. Without it, they might feel unloved With it, their emotional jar will be full, and they tend to feel more secure. 

Some other examples to express this love language to your child is as follow ; “Lap Time Reading, Hold Hands and Skip, Morning Cuddles or tucking them to bed.”

In Conclusion.

  • While it’s important to tell your child “I LOVE YOU”  there is more to that 3 little words.
  • It’s important to understand your child’s love language as it will further strengthen the parent and child bond.
  • Discovering your child’s love language takes time and effort so do not give up and persevere on. It will be very rewarding in the long run.
Child's Love Language Family Rys

Credits.

 

5 Love Languages is based on a book by Dr Gary Chapman. He is a family counsellor, radio host, associate pastor and author of several books.

Love Language
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