Many parents wonder what their child needs are. Turns out, there’s a pretty clear answer.
How often are you in the same physical space as your children, but your head and your heart are anywhere and everywhere else? Let me share with you, below I have listed 5 pointers which I find extremely helpful myself.
Our child needs love. All children deserve love. Love is simple, it is non-material and is the feeling we give our children of complete acceptance.
We love them because love is what they deserve. A little affection is that spoon full of sugar that helps the pain go down.
Talk to your children, love, and snuggle them. Parents should be generous with hugging, kissing or cuddling their children, as studies show that affection may improve kids’ mood and confidence.
Kids must feel safe and sound, with their basic survival needs to be met: shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm.
A sense of security and has shown to have an immediate impact on reducing stress levels.
Stability comes from family and community. Ideally, a family remains together in a stable household, but when that’s not possible, it’s important to disrupt the child’s life as little as possible.
To a child, justice and security are the same. An important part of justice is consistency.
When the rules change from day to day, depending upon the mood of one or both parents, children can become insecure because there is no consistency and thus no sense of justice.
Use compassion instead of comparison. Each child needs here in this life to be their own person.
Parents’ words and actions should encourage kids’ trust, respect, self-esteem and, ultimately, independence.
They are not here to be like us, they are not here to be as-good-as or better-than their siblings, peers or the children of our friends.
When we enter a child’s world and emphatically reflect their feelings, they regulate their emotions more quickly, they feel safer and they also understand that what they are experiencing is normal
It is our role to teach our children right from wrong, but it is not our right to decide who they are supposed to be. Rules, boundaries, and limits: Without them, kids are forced to be adults before they are ready, and they lose respect for you and other adults.
Our role as parents is to provide feedback to our children which is conducive to the building of their character.
When we criticize, yell, berate or become passive-aggressive they cannot grow.
They will shrink or become enraged and develop negative feelings about themselves, their capabilities and about us.
When we rob our children of their pain and we do not allow them the possibility of failure, then we also rob them of their pursuit of happiness.
Our children need our counsel to understand that the most important part of life is the worthwhile struggle of discovering a sense of meaning and purpose.
Children need your love, time and attention. There is no substitute for you. Never let babysitters, iPads, video games or other things become the parent or caretaker of your children.
Parents should try to devote time each day to their children, even though doing so may be difficult after a long workday.
Kids thrive on one-to-one bonding, in which parents focus their energies on them – even if it is only for 15 minutes or so.
Be responsive to their needs. Your children are sending you signals and cues all the time. Take time to observe their behavior and find out what they want.
Whenever our children are in need, they need to know we will be present.
1. Morning routine | Can you add just 10 minutes to your morning routine that is dedicated to your child? Maybe you do stretches together to start the day. Maybe you make sure to include him or her in the process of making breakfast.
2. Play Their Games | If you decide to bring video games into your home, do your best to screen them and even learn how to play them so you can experience this part of your kids’ world.
3. Play at the playground | Don’t get lost in your phone or chat with the other parents (both of which I do very often) but actually PLAY with the kids. Be the one who organises the hide and seeks game or starts a slide style competition.
4. Bedtime routine | Just as you can sneak in some quality time when you wake up, add some into bedtime. As kids get older it may seem like they want to be more independent and don’t need you for bedtime as much. You could still set aside time between TV, dinner, homework, and bed to really focus on talking together. Read a chapter of a book together, wash your faces and brush teeth at the same time or try some yoga.