Anger Management - 3 Steps Solution
“Shut up for goodness sake” my 3 kids stared at my blankly. I lost my temper, I yelled and allowed my anger to control me.
Immediately, I was overwhelm with guilt and regret. I never once thought I had anger management issues. Being a parent requires you to make tons of sacrifices. And we are always expected to be that “perfect mom” which we have pictured for ourselves and society.
Why I Wanted To Deal With My Anger Management Issues.
It never came across my mind that I have anger management issues and I’m that angry mom no one wants to talk about.
And I have to take the extra effort to remind myself why being angry all the time isn’t healthy.
#1. I didn’t want my kids to remember me as being angry, grumpy and unhappy all the time.
#2. I don’t wish for my kids to pick this up from me. Thinking that it’s normal to live life in such a manner and grow up not being able to manage their own emotions.
#3. It’s awful to be feeling such a sourpuss the entire time. Not only for me, but also for everyone around me. It’s very depressing.
As much as I am aware of what I want, that doesn’t stop the anger from coming out. It resurfaces again and again. That only means, I need help.
So I thought of a 3 Steps Solution that I found helpful.
1. STOP – Walk away if you must. Take deep breaths and allow the anger to come. Give yourself a time frame. ( In my case, 5 minutes)
2. Let It Come – Once the time is up, I breathe it all out.
If deep breathing techniques doesn’t work , try something else.
It takes a lot of practice and trial of what works for you.
You can do something else like taking a shower, or putting your hands under the tap water.
3. Let It Go– And remind myself of the very reasons why I do not want to be the angry mom.
Look at your children , and feel their presence in the now moment. Go to them and sit there for a while, give them a hug. And you’ll know what I mean.Try it.
Being moms, when we look at our children’s innocent faces, and think of that smile or the good they have done. It melts us away. Doesn’t it?
It take practise and with practise you will be able to manage it in time. Everything needs time and practise. That’s how we learn. And it makes no difference whether you’re a mom or not.
So next time, if you’re gonna hit the roof. Try doing this 3 steps and let me know how it worked for you.
At the end of it all, ask yourself was whatever that happened worth being angry about?